You have a voice that tells you mean things about yourself. So do I. We all do. It’s called Ego or Mind.
We also have a different voice—quieter, more subtle, not at all inclined to debate—the is-what-it-is voice. I’ll call it Fact Voice.
Mind Voice tells me I'm stupid, always misunderstood, never good enough, and will never get anywhere in life. At times, it's been far worse than that, but it's not useful to report verbatim. Doing so gives it too much power and attention.
The is-what-it-is Fact Voice tells me to grab my keys or sit down and write, or that direction has more traffic and will make me late. It’s always fact-based and offers options and information—not directives.
So why do we pay more attention to Mind Voice?
We know we all have that destructive side of ourselves. We get the fuck-its, and the voice pounces on momentary vulnerability and drives us further into the ground.
Under its influence, we trip into addictions, lose entire days (decades?) to messing around on our phones, and ruin relationships.
So why do we keep listening? No one is forcing us to follow its utterly wretched advice, so why pay it any heed at all?
I'm sure there are many theories. The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz and The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer are good references.
I think we listen because it’s scary, and fear gets our attention because we’re deeply afraid of dying.
In my opinion, we must first become aware of the voices or parts, if you prefer. Hearing these 2 voices clearly can come out of the blue for no apparent reason, during a traumatic event, or in response to meditative practices. I'm sure there are other ways, but I've experienced these 3 directly, as have my clients through the years.
The most dramatic experience for me happened in the middle of the night, the first time I visited Paris. It was the loudest, clearest awareness of my Inner Narrator I'd ever had, and frankly, it scared me.
The Fact Voice literally sounded like a knowing; it came from down in my body. When I stood up in a pitch-black room, I felt the words - “There’s a pole.” I then immediately heard Mind Voice, “What? No, there isn’t. Wouldn’t I have noticed a pole?”
I started walking with my hand in front of me, and sure enough, there was a pole. Had I not listened, I would have walked right into it with my face. Then Fact Voice was quiet, and Mind Voice went on and on and on. Why is the bathroom on a platform? Where is the toilet paper? It’s so cold in here; where’s the heater?
It was like a toddler was following me around, literally narrating and questioning everything. No wonder we try to stay unconscious of this! For the rest of the trip, and I guess now for the rest of my life, I heard and still hear that voice. I haven’t ever gone back to sleep to it completely, and I’m still learning to pay attention when quiet Fact Voice chimes in.
Fact Voice is my intuition, and it’s always right. I felt the prompt to "grab the keys and didn’t - turns out it would have been useful not to accidentally lock them in the car when my hand brushed the lock button while opening the door.
I felt - “sit down and write” - and one of my best-performing posts flowed through onto the page with almost no editing.
I felt “go the other direction” and didn’t; it turns out I was late for my appointment.
I think some people call Fact Voice a Guide and then assume they’re being punished when they ignore it and a sub-optimal thing happens. I see it as just natural consequences. Part of us, Fact Voice, knows a metric fuck ton more than Mind, and if we listen, life is easier, and if we don’t, it’s harder.
I believe Fact Voice is the voice of the Vagus Nerve. It’s our physical intuition. It’s the system that takes in and processes information, knows how to navigate Earthly reality, and is unconscious most of the time. Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink is a good one to explore.
Michael Singer's description of hearing the Inner Narrator, whom he called the Roommate, is the only book (The Untethered Soul) I've read that captures what it was like for me. It was comforting to read it as I felt a little alone in the experience, which is why we should all be writing our experiences down!
How about you? Are you conscious of all the voices in your body and mind?
XO,
LMW