The Patterns in Your Life Are a Gold Mine of Information
Your life has all the answers you need
(The following post was originally sent as a newsletter April 2023.)
Where are the patterns in your life? What are they trying to tell you?
I spent last week in Montréal, Quebec, Canada. I loved it! Ate some good food, walked a lot, got some new ink, etc but mostly had information flowing through like it usually does when I travel.
Something about letting go of everything while traveling allows a flood of info to come forward. Some day I'll manage to pull this off while staying home!
So much came in that I'll probably do a podcast episode or three, but for now, I wanted to share this with you.
Making mistakes has been such an issue for me, and I know I'm not alone in it. It's so much better now, but in the past, making a mistake would utterly devastate me. Any mistake - little, big, it didn't matter.
My body would flood with shame, and I would get away from the situation as fast as possible. I would over-apologize and mentally shred myself for days, even up to a week. If it was a big mistake, I might carry that on for years.
I don't believe in the common concept of I live a life, die, and then live another life in a linear sequence. I do believe our DNA carries all the memories of our biological line, and I also believe in the collective unconscious. The memories, dreams, and even past life regressions feel real because they're familiar to some part of you which is why you have access to them.
I absolutely believe we're all connected to an infinite database of shared consciousness even as we live our individual physical lives. Is that shared consciousness God? Sheesh - way too big of a question but fun to contemplate.
Anyway, this mistake agony was so out of context I did explore past lives a lot which is how I came to my current point of view on the matter. However, this year I've been asking where the source is for the mistake agony. It still happens enough that I know it's not fully resolved, and underneath that is a pit of grief-despair I honestly don't recall ever not having.
As I was watching the moon and enjoying the light reflecting on the smidgen of the St. Lawrence River I could see from my Airbnb, I "heard" the words - "What about those who didn't burn?"
Imagery unfolded in my mind of my ancestors hiding to avoid detection and creating a miasm of thick, heavy, incredibly intense shame about it. We saw our friends and family suffer horrendously. We heard stories of others, and we positioned ourselves in places of power to avoid detection. We denied knowledge and shifted attention toward others. We survived but at great cost for ourselves at the time and our descendants.
This floored me but made perfect sense. I've never connected to the popular trending of the Witch archetype. I did a podcast episode on it if you want details.
I did, however, understand the fear of being seen as a weirdo and hiding my talents. I mean, that's the story of my life until I went public, so to speak, in 2015; however, the fear of being burned at the stake or being called a witch didn't connect at all.
My consciousness pinned it all on the fear of making a mistake - which THEN would lead to exile, or a miserable death is where it centered. I wasn't aware of that secondary bit until this week.
We closed our mouths, deflected attention, and started ignoring our inherent psychic talents and mediumship powers (which all people have!). We buried our healing talents and hid the knowledge of plant energy partnership as well as herbal wisdom.
We lived in constant fear that one of us would make a "mistake" that could get us all tortured and killed. We didn't burn, but we were terrified 24/7 that we would fuck up, and that would be that.
This, of course, is exactly what those in power wanted, but I won't go into all the politics, power, and control behind the witch trials. There is plenty out there about the reality of what drove it - try the Google.
I share this as one example of how shame and fear repeat themselves for hundreds and thousands of years in families. Patterns repeat until we think we're cursed, but curses are just patterns looking for healing.
We are ALWAYS seeking resolution, so just like in the movie Groundhog Day, we'll set up the scenarios over and over, trying to achieve the outcome that mends the damage permanently.
The patterns in your family line that won't budge, the patterns you've gone to therapy for but keep repeating, the recurring nightmares - these are the places that are stuck on repeat not to torment you but to show you where the greatest healing needs to occur.
Whether it's shame over making mistakes, shame over relapsing into addictive behavior, or shame over yet another breakup with a partner -- all behavior has a purpose, and that purpose is ALWAYS healing in order to be healthy and whole.
Where are your patterns?
Ask your Team Invisible to show you where your system is seeking a different outcome, and then write out the story with a different ending.
Even though the different ending is written by you - your biology experiences it as real, and it's a proven method you can use to create profound healing. It's used a lot in the therapy world for PTSD, and you can use it for things like this. Obvs, go get therapy if it feels too big to do on your own, and NEVER force these issues - asking for awareness is enough to start the ball rolling.
XO,
LMW