Past Abuse and the Connection to Resistance
Maybe it's procrastination or maybe it's your Safety Seeking Self
If you were physically or verbally forced by people bigger than you into situations that harmed you, then you are likely to resist change more than the average human.
Making yourself do the things required to succeed in life will be resisted mightily unless, and until, your nervous system has been trained to tolerate discomfort.
Talk therapy doesn't resolve this.
Mindset work will not help a body-mind who equates being made to do something with disaster, loss, and pain.
Life is an ongoing series of fighting your way past a brain that NEVER wants to change or grow. Your Safety Seeking Self will always win because survival is paramount.
Until you learn to tolerate discomfort and, with great compassion, push yourself through doing things your brain is throwing a whiny fit about, your goals will stay forever stalled.
It’s unlikely that you’re going to bounce out of bed Tigger-style and race for the computer to update your website or hop in the car to go to the dentist. You might prefer pizza to whole foods and couch potato time to 20 minutes of exercise; I know I do but to succeed you have to stop allowing that - let's never change - voice to win.
However, if you’ve got this kind of trauma going on, then you will consistently break promises to yourself and let yourself off the hook, causing more damage and higher levels of resistance to change.
This is one of those shitty spaces where it’s not our fault, but it is our responsibility to fix it.
Low levels of this pattern can be handled with basic nervous system tools, EFT, self-hypnosis, a good trauma-trained coach, and self-talk. It’s imperative to stay present and remind yourself that the current pain is not in the past and no one is forcing you to do anything—you are choosing to build a better tomorrow. It’s that simple.
If it's severe, and only you can define what severe means, then you need therapy. Get EMDR from a certified and licensed therapist (I have someone I can refer you to if needed), or find a licensed Somatic Therapist, NOT a coach, even if they are trauma-informed. Do not @ me - serious trauma cannot - should not - may be illegal - to attempt to resolve through coaching.
Ask yourself if your resistance is just an undisciplined brain and you need to get your shit together or if it’s something deeper. Then fix it.
The world needs you on your feet and in motion now.
Get going.
XO,
LMW
Also, if you need a Clarity Session to understand this or make a plan to get into gear, hit me up.