Life is not a box of chocolates. It’s a journey filled with countless mysteries and profound questions, hidden traps, and delightfully horrible detours, especially for those who seek a deeper understanding of their existence, which has gotta be you if you’re reading my blog. Spiritual individuals, the woo crew, empaths, and the like often find themselves wrestling with some fundamental questions about concepts that shape their beliefs and actions.
These contemplations can really drive us nuts if we don’t take the time to come to terms with them. I really do prefer to just watch TikTok and blow a whole Saturday spamming my Instagram stories so all y’all refusing to come to TikTok can still get some laughs in.
So let’s talk about it. I’m aiming to shed some light, my own opinion light, on the age-old debate between predestination and free will, the power of intention, the coaching industry's authenticity, the role of Human Design and Astrology, the concept of karma, and the impact of social and family conditioning on how we get through life.
1. Predestination vs. Free Will: Is it Both/And?
One of spiritual seekers' most perplexing questions is the balance between predestination and free will. Is our life path predetermined, or do we have the power to shape our destiny? The answer, to me, is always both/and. Life's grand design might set certain parameters and present us with various opportunities, but how we navigate those circumstances is largely up to us.
Imagine life as a river with predetermined currents and bends. While you can't control the river's course, you can choose how to navigate it—whether to row gently downstream or fight the current. Your free will lies in the choices you make along the way.
BE’N The Gang confirms for me that there are very few fixed points of destiny in our lives. We set those up before birth, so even there, are we not exercising free will?
Even at the fixed points, we can refuse, but to do so creates some significant backflow of energy that often ends in tears and life blowing up in a lot of areas. Honestly, the pain of moving through a tangled-up time in life is always less than being dragged, kicking and screaming through it. It’s also more dignified!
2. The "You Can Do Anything If You Put Your Mind to It" Idea
The age-old adage that I was raised with, "You can do anything if you put your mind to it" (cue Ice Cube and put your back into it, lol), has inspired countless people, me included, to overcome challenges and achieve as much as we possibly can. It embodies the essence of human potential and the power of intention. Also - it's not a one-size-fits-all solution, and while the idea is a powerful reminder that our beliefs and determination can shape our reality, we also have some inherent limits.
Your mindset and intentions can act as catalysts, helping you discover and utilize your full potential, but more importantly, your nervous system, your trauma history, and your socio-economic status play much larger roles than I ever knew in creating and sustaining permanent change.
The key is to find a balance between setting realistic goals and believing in the limitless possibilities of human achievement AND factoring in life’s impact on your biology.
3. Is the Coaching Industry Practicing the Fine Art of Bullshittery by Promising the Moon?
The coaching industry has gained immense popularity in recent years, offering guidance and support for personal and professional growth, and it’s still on the rise. Don’t let anyone fool you - there is still a rapidly growing job market for coaches. However, skepticism often arises, and rightly so. There are scams galore and self-manufactured gurus everywhere, leading people to question whether it's all just a facade. I’ve lost money on coaching that didn’t deliver, and I’m sure you have, also.
The truth is, like any field, there are genuine coaches dedicated to helping others, and there are those who may not have your best interests at heart.
This is true of therapists, social workers, psychologists, and all others in the helping fields. All fields, really. I mean, hell, I’ll wait longer in the checkout line to get the cashier who has a few tattoos and a pulse over the one who looks like she died last year but is still at work scanning snacks.
To navigate coaching, first get clear on your opinion of what’s possible for you, given all the things we talked about. Do your research, seek referrals, and trust your intuition. Authentic coaches can be valuable allies in your personal and professional journeys. A good coach tells you the truth, has good boundaries, and excels at helping you uncover your strengths, overcome challenges, and stay sane while doing it.
Coaches who insist literally anything is possible if you only try hard enough are delusional and probably need you to sign up so they can pay the rent and buy dog food. It’s a red flag, and I suggest you look elsewhere for someone who can motivate you to make the most of what you have AND reach for the stars with a balanced approach. Maybe buy something small, so the dog gets some kibble!
4. Human Design and Astrology: Do They Speak to This?
Yes and no. Many of us turn to tools like Human Design, Astrology, and other personality tests to gain insights into our life's purpose and potential. We go to psychics, card readers, mediums, and energy healers - or at least I have done so! We call it looking for insights, but really, we’re looking for cheat codes so we can get this whole life-purpose thing right, make money, and find a mate! By the way, here’s a podcast episode on purpose.
These systems and helpers can offer valuable perspectives, but it's essential to remember that they are NOT definitive predictors of your destiny. Instead, they provide guidance and self-awareness that can help you make informed choices.
They’re a map that you get to use or not. They can show where things might be harder for you than the average bear, and then you’ll need to explore why you are pushing upstream. Is there a point to the struggle? Do you really want what you’re after, or are you chasing the dreams other people told you to chase?
Human Design and Astrology charts can shed light on your natural inclinations and tendencies, areas of inherent struggle, and ways to work with them, helping you align your decisions with your authentic self. Embrace them as tools for self-discovery rather than as rigid blueprints. And definitely don’t take them as the end all be all of your life!
5. What About Karma?
Karma, the belief that our actions have consequences that shape our future experiences, is a concept deeply rooted in various spiritual traditions. While the idea of karma can help explain certain life events, it's not a strict system of reward and punishment - nothing is that cut and dried around here! It's more about understanding the interconnectedness of our actions and experiences. And this is my opinion - plenty of traditions say otherwise, and I respect that completely!
Karma encourages us to act with kindness, compassion, and integrity, not out of fear of retribution as if the Daddy God is going to put your name on the naughty list but as a means to create positive ripples in the world and because we’re not monsters. By choosing kindness, maybe we can influence our future experiences in a meaningful way, maybe not, but doesn’t it just feel better to do your best to practice compassion over being an asshat?
6. Social and Family Conditioned Responses
As we navigate life with all our charts, wishes, and hopes in hand, we carry with us the conditioning and beliefs instilled by our families and society. We usually carry that stuff in an old dusty backpack so we can’t see it and are always wondering why our back hurts. These conditioned responses can both empower and limit us. Recognizing and examining these influences is crucial for personal growth, and it’s one of the core components of Human Design.
By becoming aware of your conditioned responses, and in HD terms, those are mostly found in your Open Centers and Gates; you can choose whether to continue following them or to redefine your beliefs and behaviors. This process is essential to self-discovery and aligning your actions with your authentic self. You can visit my website to explore a Human Design reading with extra input from Astrology added.
Bottom line: Who the Hell Knows?
Life's deepest questions and painful events lead us to stumble down a winding path of self-discovery and personal growth like we’re drunks trying to get home from the bar without catching a DUI.
While there are no definitive answers to the questions of all these things, exploring these topics can provide some valuable insights into your inner workings.
For me, I do believe that our beliefs and actions can shape our destiny. I also, now, after having done a deep dive and gotten my certification in Intuitive Astrology, see some predestined places where the endless struggle hasn’t budged the needle one bit. I may still achieve things in those zones, but again - I continually need to evaluate the cost vs. benefit, my own addiction to the chemicals of chaos (another podcast episode), and what areas of life my energy might be more productive in.
So embrace the paradox of predestination and free will, harness the power of intention, approach the coaching industry with discernment, use tools like Human Design and Astrology, Enneagram, and Meyers-Briggs as guides, and strive to create positive ripples through your actions. By limiting Netflix, TikTok, refusing to be a jerk, and choosing compassion, you'll avoid a lot of life’s potholes, angsty nights, and Dorito binges.
XO,
LMW