I steal constantly. I am the thief of my own joy.
I steal from my Future Self by ignoring the need to build muscle strength today.
I take away her dreams coming true by watching The Expanse, any Star Trek series, LOTR, or The Office for the millionth time instead of writing.
I steal her creativity.
I steal her flexibility.
I steal her peace and potential by grinding brain gears thinking too many thoughts.
This evening I could have painted, drawn, Feng Shui-ed a room, decluttered, written a chapter, petted my cats, eaten dinner more mindfully, etc.
No one rips me off more than I do.
I've done this for years, since October 2019 when I got sicker than I've ever been, got divorced, and then Covid hit us all.
The difference from that time and today is one, my health is so much better and two, I don't blame people, places, or things anymore for why I'm not where I want to be.
I never hang out in my Familiar Bad Feeling Place of Pity Party Land. I no longer even want to visit!
I don't tell tales, thrash around in a sea of angst, sign up for self-help courses, or otherwise try to “fix” myself.
So, what to do?
When you can observe and state the facts of your situation or as I like to say - put the period after the fact where it belongs - change is far easier to accomplish. Facts are our friends!
I did not do what I said I was going to do which was turn off electronics at 8pm. Period.
I did not lift weights or do anything else that would build muscle. Period.
I did not write a word in my book. Period.
Just the facts, ma'am. Emotionless and clean and truly refreshing.
Strip away the biggest joy thief on the planet - self-recrimination - and decisions can be made.
Of the whole list, when looked at objectively, it's easy to see that from a laundry list of “didn't do” there is one solution.
Turn the TV off.
Taking that one action step helps everything fall into place because I won't sit on the couch and stare at a blank screen. I'll get up, be present in my life, and do many of the things I really want to do with my time.
Now, the next tangle is I said I would do that tonight and didn't. I “failed” because I didn't prepare for internal objections, set an alarm, and make a list of activities, all of which help me focus.
Lack of preparation is why most of us are thieves in our lives.
So let's be clear, I'm never going to WANT to turn the TV off. I know I'll 5 more minutes myself into 5 hours unless I prep. Since I don't expect to want to turn it off I can prepare to move through the discomfort of making myself and take that one highly effective action.
I can stop pretending that until I want to do the thing, I can't do the thing. I can stop imagining a someday where it's easy to do things I don't love.
Energy flows freely when we embrace the suck because we end resistance with honesty, acceptance, and radical empathy for ourselves.
Where are you stealing from yourself?
Can you stick to naming the facts so you can find a solution?
Are you willing to choose the creative discomfort that builds your life over the destructive discomfort of living your status quo?
You'll be uncomfortable either way - might as well be sovereign in your choice of what it's going to be.
Don't be a thief!
XO,
LMW