The "Part of Me" Exercise
This is an exercise I use for myself and with clients to create deep self-acceptance and emotional regulation.
When you don't listen to, or judge your needs as illogical, they get louder.
Arguing with yourself makes it worse.
Ever try to win an argument a toddler or a teen? Right.
Validation comes first and this exercise is all about it.
So think of your problem or struggle and really dive into the sensations and emotions.
Let's use not enough clients as our hypothetical. Name it ALL first;
Heat
Frustration
Fear
Stomach in knots
Face frowning
Chest tight
Breathing shallow
Grasping outward
Energy of desperation
Naming creates spaciousness. It makes room for all the parts of you to be witnesses so they can stop shouting for attention.
Next step takes this deeper…
This series is an example, at the top of your paper write:
I am willing to be present with -
The part of me who wants more clients.
The part of me who is afraid of more clients because of the workload.
The part of me who wants to succeed for approval.
The part of me who wants to serve.
The part of me that hates everything.
The part of me looking at clients like a T-bone steak.
The part of me that wants to give freely and forget getting paid.
The part of me writing this list.
The part of me relaxing into peace.
The part of me willing to receive all of life.
The part of me who knows I'm ok.
At first your naming and listing will be wildy negative. Allow it! Practice radical honesty and acceptance.
If you keep going, as all parts get to be seen, the list will shift back to the Heart.
You'll relax and new insight now has space to come into consciousness.
Next steps will become clear and often they're to take a nap or a walk. So simple.
You can't fake this if you want real relief so seriously - write all the yuck until the yum shows up.
1. Validate first.
2. Name the sensations.
3. Be honest with yourself about how you really feel.
4. Witness all the parts
5. Listen for the next step.
Grab paper and pen and go for it!
XO,
LMW